Wow (!) It only took the woman a financially crippling divorce and equally crippling ‘Album’ following larynx surgery to prevent her from sounding like a snorting pig to realise, she just needs to STOP EATING.

Looks like Adele never watched that Simpsons episode where Lisa gets a pair of FAKE dancing shoes.

She sounds a bit like Sylvia Plath, just on Antidepressants.

The only reason Adele managed to sell a second single was because everyone thought she was Duffy.

Some men are still hoping…

As for her MP David Lammy who apparently went to Harvard, let’s see maybe he can get Adele a BTec from our local college ADA where you only have to simultaneously work 38 hours a week at Heathrow Airport to get your ‘free’ education.

She could even get rid of her personal trainer.

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